Sunday, August 29, 2010
A man sits at a bar ordering double Whiskey all night. Every time the barman serves him a drink the man pours the drink all over his hand. The bar man is confused, but after all the guy's still paying for the drink. Eventually though the bar mans curiosity gets the better of him and he asks the guy why he's wasting all the booze. The guy replies: "I have to get my date drunk!"
A dude walks into a bar and says to the bartender : "I want a 12 years old scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference."
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5 year old scotch.
The man takes a sip, scowls and says : "Hey - Bartender, this crap is 5 years old scotch. - I told you that I wanted a 12 years old."
The bartender won't give and tries once more this time with a 8 year scotch.
The man takes a sip, grimaces and says : "Bartender, I do not want 8 years old scotch like this filth. Gimme a 12-years old scotch or I'll leave !"
Impressed, the bartender gives him the 12-year scotch on the house, the man takes a sip and sighs,
" Ah, now that's the real thing. "
A disgusting, ugly, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says. :
"Hey, I think that's really far out what you can do. Try this one."...
The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, "Yuck! This stuff tastes like piss!"
The drunk's eyes light up and he says, "Yeah sure, now how old am I ?"
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5 year old scotch.
The man takes a sip, scowls and says : "Hey - Bartender, this crap is 5 years old scotch. - I told you that I wanted a 12 years old."
The bartender won't give and tries once more this time with a 8 year scotch.
The man takes a sip, grimaces and says : "Bartender, I do not want 8 years old scotch like this filth. Gimme a 12-years old scotch or I'll leave !"
Impressed, the bartender gives him the 12-year scotch on the house, the man takes a sip and sighs,
" Ah, now that's the real thing. "
A disgusting, ugly, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great interest. He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and says. :
"Hey, I think that's really far out what you can do. Try this one."...
The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries, "Yuck! This stuff tastes like piss!"
The drunk's eyes light up and he says, "Yeah sure, now how old am I ?"
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 9th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Scott, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Scott, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)